Loving this @thecharlatans @ogenesisrecords – bet you are @nadinemansfield ?

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Good Morning from Mr Brekkie

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Using my iPhone’s timer to pretend I’m not alone.

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Getting the right mix of fats,carbs and protein can be tricky on the road. Pilfered these at breakfast. #fitness #eatclean #roadcomic #cockandballs

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LOVE > HATE

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Terrible photo taken. But great audience tonight in Lancaster for @allstarstanduptour hope you enjoy rest of show and @johnbish100 this week.

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This is how I got heckled tonight. By a dog. Cheers Rich Griffin for photo.

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Vegan crisps and alcohol free beer post show. #thuglife

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Cracker of an audience for tonight in Dundee for The All-Star Stand-Up Tour tag yourselves in. Be great to come back.

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The comic prepares #camp @mikegunn4137

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Home of @beano_official – love it.

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Loving #dundee so far

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Absolute belters at Macrobert for All-Star Stand-Up tour – see you next time. Stay in touch.

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Got my dog a deal. http://ift.tt/2q37GT7 #waggrealdogs

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Real Dog

Anyone who knows me, knows I love my dog. I really love her. She’s brilliant. I talk to her all the time, in my head she answers back. I know I’m not the only person that does this, you talk to your dog and your dog answers back in a voice you’ve picked for your dog. Because my dog Coco is a chocolate Labrador I imagine she’s a middle-aged,middle class woman who lives in Cheshire, bakes nice cakes and is desperate for a nice hat for her nieces wedding in June. Of course I know she doesn’t really talk to me, she’s a dog. I live in Stockport not Hollywood. I’m a dumpy stand up comedian not Tom Hanks. She’s great though, if she could talk she’d probably tell you I’m great too. I hope. I’d do anything for her. So you can imagine how delighted I was when my brand new mates at Wagg got in touch and said they wanted to send Coco some free treats? Of course I’m not only her owner I’m also her show business representative and agent. I had to make sure she was getting a good deal. First of I wanted to know she wasn’t going to be made to look stupid on camera. This where the genius happens – see Wagg aren’t  wanting her to dress up or do something daft, they’re all about real dogs not dogs doing fancy dress, or getting pawdicires or yoga. Dog yoga? Surely that’s Doga? Do they do Downward Human poses?  They’re into real dogs like this
Anyhow I told Coco this.
I said “Hey a few photos of you looking like you are having fun and there’s more where this came from”

She said “As long as it’s tasteful –so not that one of me on my back on the lawn loving the sun”

Of course not I said.  She said what about a couple with my mates?

But not the one where I look like a baby with my Xmas teddy? No of course not.

Maybe some of you looking magnificent after swimming.

But not the one where I look silly in my towel in the car?

Ok – as long as you think it’s a good deal she said. Here you go I said. She’s still trying to open them.

If you want to know more have a look at the Wagg Facebook page

Where am I?

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Reunited with my bestest mate @maxwhitlock for @the_bhf and @dfs – keep an eye out for our film.

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Nightmare at work today.

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My commute today 🇬🇬

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